The turn in the good ending.

I suspected it but never thought it might be true. I didn't write for ages because everything is going fine. I dont bring myself down about stuff. I just feel better as a person and I gave up on the sixth form guy although he is still extremely fit. I would go for him if he showed any sort of interest in me but meh I won't be a creep. Lol 

Anyway the first sentence of this post is about the fact my friend... lets call her Sally. Well, my friend sally decided to tell me that my best guy friend whom i play games with and shit fancies me. She told me but its not like he's asking me out. Its more like so i could think about the feelings I have towards him I guess. However the problem is that I have no other feelings towards him other than friendship love. Its just weird. Me falling for a guy I never talked to and I cant love my best guy friend. Im messed up... He is amazing and stuff but I don't think i would be able to love him in any other way than as a friend. The ending line Sally said was "think about it" and I am. I really am but i am thinking i can't like him! I also think that he probably would be an amazing boyfriend but i dont know why he just doesn't trigger that thing inside me that would make him attractive to me in a romantic manner. 

I guess I have my answer. I made a mistake once by going out with a friend. It really didn't go well when i broke up with him... REALLY. So thats a no if he asks me. 

I am a terrible person, I first moan about not finding someone special. But I push away someone who I am special to. AAAAH World is too confusing. I wish i could just make it work just right to suit me.